Thursday | September 06, 2007

Heroes released online!!! (No, not the TV show!)

Okay, on a rare 'personal' note: 

Ladies and gentleman, it is with greatest pleasure that I can make this announcement to you- after a little over 3 years from it's inception, No Line Cinemas' first feature-length movie, Heroes, is now online and viewable at www.nolinecinemas.com. This re-worked version features a re-edit of the original 2006 release, new CGI effect courtesy of Rustwood Studios, new scenes, and an original score by composer Matthew Milne.  This has been a long time in coming- now, I hope you enjoy it!

 

Posted by Zarm at 14:55:05 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Tuesday | August 21, 2007

God-nerd: The Motion Picture - Part III

"Fate blows her kiss

 

Chills your heart

 

Takes your hand..."

 

"I don't even know if I believe in fate!"

 

"Fate feels like this,

 

Play your part,

 

This was planned..."

 

-The Genie and Aladin

 

 

  In the quote above, part of an unused song entitled 'High Adventure,' from Disney's animated feature Aladin, fate is presented very simillarly to our chaos theory model- a planned series of events that led up to a certain choice for the main protagonist. It is also portrayed as a force unto itself, controlling the actions of an individual to deliver them to a pre-determined end. Is either one the correct answer? Let's move into the final part of this discussion...

 

  I mentioned Star Trek being the second of two things that inspired this topic earlier. Well, now we finally will get back around to that. Almost.

 

  The question before us is destiny. If God can say there are those chosen to be saved, and if He can tell us the future which is apparently set in stone, does that mean that there are things indeed 'destined' to happen?

 

  Star Trek: The Next Generation's episode "Parallels" seems to be almost the direct contradiction of the 'destiny' idea in which a person has one set future, moment, action, thought, etc., to which all events are inescapably leading him, and which cannot be altered. In that episode, Lieutenant Worf, the Klingon Security Chief of the Enterprise-D, is sent switching through alternate quantum realities.

 

  It's a concept shared by the 90s series 'Sliders,' which I have just recently become somewhat hooked on, in which a group of travelers is bounced between different realities trying to find their way home.

 

  The gist of it is this. There are an infinite number of universes out there, and anything that possibly could happen does happen- thus, if I am driving down the street towards the freeway, I have a choice. I could keep going towards the freeway, as I plan. In a separate universe, everything throughout all of history is identical, except that I slow down and consider turning at a random intersection just for the heck of it. In yet another, I decide to pull a U-turn and go home. In another still, I stop the car, leap out, and yell "Pie!" at the passing cars.

 

  Now, let's say I continue on in the first universe, where I drove on towards the freeway, as reasonably I ought to be doing. I get to a stop light. Again, I have a choice. In one universe, I continue forward. In another, I turn left. In another, I turn right. In another, I run the stop sign while screaming "Pie!" at the top of my lungs. Straight, left, right, and Pie. Four choices, four separate universes that are identical except for that choice.

 

  When I get to the on-ramp, the choices are limitless- even out of the selection that involve merging onto the freeway, I could go twenty miles per hour to start with and slowly accelerate, or thirty and do likewise, or forty and speed up more slowly, or fifty and roll down my window to scream "Pie!" at the people on the nearby overpass. Each one of those choices happens in another quantum reality.

 

  Just my drive to the freeway creates thousands of different choices, and thus thousands of quantum realities- now imagine one being created by every choice ever made by every person, and each one of those in then affected by another set of choices- for example, a man standing at that intersection after I go straight may go left or right- two more universes. Likewise, if I turn left  at the intersection, he may STILL go left or right- the same choice as before, handled the same, but they are two more separate universes because they happened in the right-turn quantum reality instead of the straight one. So, he creates another two universes for every single one I created with every single decision I could have made at the stop sign. Even with that, the combinations are nearly endless- there's the one where I go left and he goes straight, the one where I go straight and he goes right, the one where I scream "Pie!" and he screams "Pie!" right back at me... mix and match, every one of them happens, somewhere... and who knows, from when Adam and Eve decided to take a stroll down the left path instead of the right one how many random branching scenarios might have come from that 'alternate reality' already. It's a nightmare- a number of quantum realities that is beyond the highest number we can count to or even theorize- almost infinite possibilities.

 

  In the Parallels, Worf is bouncing between closely-associated realities- some things barely change at times, just a painting, for example- others, whole new crew members are swapped out- in one, the controls and circumstances are so different that Worf cannot man his station in the middle of battle, because the tools he normally used developed differently some time in the past.

 

  In Sliders, or at least in the first season which I have seen, they tend to visit slightly more 'clichéd' worlds with bigger, noticeable differences- San Francisco in a world where the Soviet Union won the cold war and took over. San Francisco in a nuclear winter. San Francisco in a world where there are oil gushers in California. San Francisco in a world where penicillin was never discovered. You get the picture. Same place, different worlds.

 

  To some, the future is like this concept- an infinite number of possibilities. Everything you can do has the potential to affect everything. And saying that something 'will happen' is the straightjacket of Destiny- as if in every universe Worf visited, counselor Troi was eating a chocolate Sundae- it consistently happens in every universe- one might say that eating that Sundae is her Destiny. Because no matter what varying circumstances surround her, no matter how many different scenarios or sets of choices led up to that moment, not matter how many different ways she approached from or different settings she was in, she would inevitably be eating that Sundae. Everything else around her was free and different and able to change in various circumstances, but she and her chocolate were not.

 

  In other words, destiny is like pulling the handle on the jackpot machine- beforehand, it was three spinning rows that could become anything at all- afterwards, one of those three is locked into place. No matter what happens with the other two, it is a cherry and will stay a cherry- it can no longer become whatever you make it.

 

  So, we have the future, an infinite number of possibilities. The spinning jackpot. And we have destiny, the pull of the handle, locking some part of that future into place irrevocably so that nothing you can do will change it. After all that setup, am I saying that doesn't happen somehow? And if it does, doesn't that interfere with free will?

 

 

"Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only in as much that we keep to the shallows as much as possible."

 

"Those orders seem somewhat... contradictory, captain."

 

"I have every faith in your reconciliatory powers, mister Gibbs."

 

-Jack Sparrow and Crewman Gibbs

 

 

 

  Well, you heard Jack- yes, and yes. If that were happening, I think that it would indeed contradict Free Will. And no, I don't think that's happening.

 

  But how, you ask, can God tell the future or say people are chosen to be His without overriding Free Will or locking the future into place, just like Destiny? Or perhaps you don't ask that. Perhaps you are still feeling guilty over killing Louie. Or wishing you had some "Pie!" Or perhaps you figured out my point ages ago. Well... it's my blog, so I'm going to assume you asked it anyway. I know it's been a long road so far- take heart, the end is almost near. I will try to, as Jack further suggested, keep to the shallows, and keep it simple. As a crooked Night Guard once said, "Moving On..."

 

  The answer is deceptively simple. There are no quantum realities.

 

  Well, wait... that was just a sci-fi concept used to illustrate a metaphor or something, right? It didn't actually have any bearing on your actual point, did it? Yes, actually, it did.

 

  The thing of the matter is... there are no quantum realities. The future is loaded with endless possibilities, endless choices we can make... but in the end, there is only one choice we will actually make. I might have infinite options when I'm stopped at that intersection- but in the end, I'm only going to make one choice, which is of course the only logical one I could make- screaming "Pie!"

 

  This is why the chief source of worry, our asking the question "What if?" is so pointless. Because what ifs do not matter, only what is. (Not that it keeps me from fretting about the what ifs constantly anyway... ahhh, the pitfalls of being human and fallen...)

 

  So Luke Skywalker is forgetting one important thing is his concern at Han and Leia Solo's destinies being 'fixed' by their message from the past- Han and Leia were going to be there anyway. The Jedi that contacted them did not cause them to come there- he merely observed that they would and took advantage of the situation. He did not lock them into the choice of coming out of myriads of possibilities by sending the message- they locked themselves into the choice of coming... by making the choice to come!

 

  Likewise, God, who mist certainly exists outside of both Space and Time and has a clear overview of each is more than capable of seeing what will happen and informing us! And while God does have the power to alter events to His will any way He wishes, that information from the future does not cause what it says to become true- it simply informs us of what will happen based upon the very choices of Free Will we make!

 

  To answer my own question, if God gives me a promise about my future, He is not fixing it against all interference from me or something like that- He is telling me what the result of my 'interference' as I will choose myself to commit, along with His guidance, will be.

 

 

  And...  

 

 

 

...The audience draws in an angry breath.

 

  "That's it??? You take all of this time, make all of those explanations, put us through all of that just to hear "God doesn't make the news, He just reports it?" That's all there is to it?"

 

  Well... yes. Sometimes it's the simplest concepts that are key to the most complex ones. And it's really that simple- there aren't multiple realities, there is only one way that things are 'going to be,' not based on Destiny but on the decisions we will make by choice. And God knows every one of them, and can tell them to us. He knew before He even created the first person who would come to believe in Him and who wouldn't- and thus, He knew who was 'chosen' to be His and who was doomed to perish from the misuse of their own Free Will. I hope, after reading all of this, that won't be you. If you still have questions, doubts, or issues in this regard, I'd certainly be happy to talk to you about them- my e-mail is Nolinecinemas@juno.com. And take comfort... you didn't really kill Louis Pasteur.

 

  If you've stuck around this long, my kudos and my thanks. I meant to take about 3 and a half hours less writing this than I did, but some concepts can't be explained simply. Isn't it glorious to know that God has given us the freedom we need to choose the right things, and the salvation that free for us to choose? And also to know that no matter how complex the past, the future, or even the sometimes-trying present may be... God is in control of it all! And every one of these mind-bending concepts that wrack the brain so trying to understand, He will someday explain to us with the most infinite patience you could ever imagine. Now that will be a lesson worth hearing!

 

  Until that day, or the time here on Earth when inspiration next strikes, this is the God Nerd, signing off.

 

Posted by Zarm at 11:39:55 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

God Nerd: The Motion Picture - Part II

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

 

"Neither do you!"

 

-McGuiness and Zorro

 

 

 

  So, two things got me thinking about this subject this morning. I was sitting there having breakfast and watching TV, and two thoughts popped into my head about the upcoming day: Star Trek (which was on this afternoon... Mondays through Thursdays, actually, four hours of it... not the Star Trek Enhanced that I've come to enjoy so, but Next Generation and Voyager, which are almost as good), and someone whom I care very much about, which my mind is almost always drifting to. Thoughts of the latter snagged me. I began to think about the idea of a future with them. I began to think about the promises that I truly believe God has given me about my life and my future. I thought about worries that I would somehow do something to mess things up, as I often fret about... and another idle thought tickled the back of my brain.

 

  "If you did receive a promise from God about your future... would that be destiny?"

 

  It stopped me for a moment. Interesting question. I'm worried about doing something to mess things up... if I were to receive a promise about the future, would that make it a 'destiny?' That no matter what I did, how badly I messed up... things would still turn out the same way? Does that mean that if I was promised a friendship would last for 50 years, I could go and start screaming at my friend at the top of my lungs and rail and rant about their every decision and generally be the biggest nuisance in the whole wide world... and nothing would change, because the future was 'guaranteed?' Or would the future simply be 'guaranteed' because God already knows that I never would go rant and rave and scream at my friend, and so the promise was just based on what I was already going to do? But then, isn't it possible I could become complacent from the promise and get careless and do something I wouldn't have done otherwise to mess up the friendship? Or would the relaxation from having the guarantee cause me to relax somehow that I wouldn't have before and actually cause me to keep the friendship precisely because of how I'd mellowed? Ack!

 

  The second, Star Trek, reminded me of one of the most interesting Next Generation episodes, "Parallels." In this episode, Worf is bouncing in between quantum realities. We'll get to that in a moment, though- lest I digress on another side-path. The question, the issue we're dealing with in this blog entry, is that of Destiny- does it exist? Does God providing knowledge of the future prove or disprove this? Well, to get to the crux of the issue, we'll first have to brush into the area of pre-destination vs. free will, the age-old debate.

 

  I want to start... well, it's a little late for that, isn't it? I want to continue, then, with a disclaimer. I've been reading in the New Testament lately around the area of Timothy, and a number of Paul's instructions for elders in the church, and leaders. It's only served to enhance what I already knew- teaching others is both a great privilege and a solemn responsibility. A teacher will be held accountable for his teachings, and woe to the man who teaches falsely about the things of God! And indeed, I do not want that to be me! I enjoy imagining, creating, asking "What if?" about the mysteries and miracles God has surrounded us with- but I in no way claim to be a scholar. Many more knowledgeable than I have considered these many issues (as a general rule of thumb, anything I say that contradicts the Bible, for example, is dead wrong- and anything that contradicts the writings of C.S. Lewis is 99% percent likely to be, too,) and I don't want to lead anyone astray by posing as a knowledgeable teacher who knows these things I posit. No, these are only theories, my best guesses- I try to educate in the basics and then suggest my own theories, but when it comes down to it, the Bible is a far better source to get what you believe in!

 

  That said, here's my take on the question of pre-destination vs. free will, which is in essence a microcosm of my take on the whole concept of destiny.

 

  Free Will is the trouble with everything. It's also the only thing that makes life as we know it, love and trust and faith even possible. It is the ability to choose freely. It's the cause of sin- so long as we have the ability to choose, we have the ability to choose to do wrong. It's also the source of love- as long as we have the ability to choose, we have the ability to choose love, which is the only way it can be, because True Love can only exist as a choice. Without Free Will, we would be, in essence, robots. We would not think as we do now. We would simply respond to stimuli in a pre-programmed manner. A robot cannot really 'do' anything. It cannot sin, because it has no choice to do either right or wrong, it simply carries out pre-programmed commands. God did not want robots, He wanted living, breathing creatures who could love Him, whom He could love... but the only way that they could truly love is if they had the choice to not love as well. If love was the only option they were capable of, it would be no different from a factory robot assembling cars- gears move in response to a computer program transmitting to a robot, and a car gets built- but the robot doesn't do it; the robot is simply a body carrying out tasks assigned it from elsewhere. Likewise, in order for us to do obey, there has to be an option for us to disobey- otherwise, we are not obeying, simply... existing as bodies with no minds carrying out pre-programmed instructions from an external source. That, in a nutshell, is Free Will- the ability to choose anything, everything, and receive the consequences.

 

  And part and partial to the whole existence of Free Will is the fact that just like love is only love if 'not love' also exists and obedience isn't obedience unless disobedience is also possible, and just as (as I've indicated on previous blogs about the nature of God- see “The God-nerd Begins, Part II”) perfection needs to be completely perfect to be perfect- even a single micro-cell of imperfection introduced into a perfect universe makes the whole universe imperfect, because it is not TOTALLY perfect... Free Will isn't Free Will unless it's free. Which means that in order for us to have Free Will, which is crucial to what God wants us to be and made us to be, we have to have complete Free Will! This means that we can choose good things and receive the consequences without God interfering to make it happen... and it also means that we can choose bad things and receive (or deal out to others) the consequences, and God will not interfere to prevent them- if He did, then He would be restricting the freedom of Free Will, and only Partially Free Will is not Free Will at all- and since Free Will is necessary to being the beings God made us to be... we're Free totally, to choose and do both good and bad! So, the next time someone asks you that age old question "Why do bad things happen?" or that lackluster attempt to object to the existence of God, "If there is a loving God, why does He allow bad things to happen?", you know have the answer for them. Because it is necessary for us to also be able to think, to reason as human beings, to love and trust and have faith, that we must also be able to do evil. (Of course, the necessity for Good and Evil as moral absolutes and a discussion of why they really do exist, and are not 'up to the individual' is another discussion, in case you happened by to read this and are now saying "But what if good and evil don't really exist, and it's all shades of gray?" Or, depending on your locale, "What if it's all shades of grey?" If you are wondering this, then you're a little behind the class- that's covered in “Truth…?” and brushed-upon briefly in ”“The God-nerd Begins”)

 

  So, that's Free Will. One of the most basic and inviolable parts of our being, which God has graciously granted to us. It also answers another question/challenge people sometimes pose- "I don't believe that a loving God would send people to Hell." This is covered in more detail in “The God-nerd begins, Part III”, but to summarize again here... He doesn't. The point of fact is that Salvation was made free when Jesus Christ, who was himself God, came to Earth in human form, took all of that evil committed by humans misusing our Free Will on Himself, and died paying the penalty for it. (If you want to know why He would have to do that... or at least my explanation... take a look at “The God-nerd Begins” series, parts I through III, for further details.) At that point, salvation was made free to every single person on Earth- all they have to do is say "I believe that Jesus did this, and I accept this gift of taking my sins away," and they are saved- destined to be with God in Heaven for the biggest party ever thrown- perfect joy for all eternity.

 

  Well, Jesus made salvation free to everyone, and it has full coverage not even the most generous insurance agent could match- everyone, everywhere, every time. So why would anyone still go to Hell when their sins have been taken care of? Sadly... Free Will.

 

  For Free Will to truly be free, it has to be so every time... which means that God can't even 'violate' it to give us salvation- we still have to use our Free Will to choose to accept it! Sadly, this means that everyone who has ever gone to Hell since Jesus death on the cross has done so by choice- a sort of suicide, if you will- by choosing not to accept or believe in this sacrifice. (How did things work BEFORE Jesus died on the cross? That is an EXCELLENT question for another blog post... if I ever get even the foggiest clue of the answer! It may be one of those things we won't know until we get to Heaven and hear it straight from the mouth of God Himself!) Some people may disagree with that supposition- I am happy to discus it with challengers- but the truth of the matter is, that's 'damnation'- a self-inflicted choice not to accept the freely offered gift of salvation. No one is ever condemned... they condemn themselves by refusing to accept being saved, just as a man struggling in the sea is not condemned by the captain of the ship if he refuses to grab onto the life preserver thrown to him- he condemns himself by refusing the freely offered rescue, and he will drown.

 

  But then, as we get to the crux of the issue, some people object at this point. "If accepting Christ and being saved is a choice, how can the Bible talk about those who have been chosen by God to be saved?" And "What about when God performed miracles and turned back armies and flooded the Earth and did all of those things- wasn't He taking away their Free Will when He did that?" These and other questions have been flashpoints for generations. Here, whether it is correct or not only God knows, is my answer.

 

  No, God does not mess with Free Will when it comes to talking about who He has chosen. Likewise, when He affects the course of history, He is not affecting Free Will. But the distinction is an important, and for some, hard to differentiate one. (Remember this point- we're going to go through a LONG set of explanations, and then return back here- so think of this as the off-ramp of our little highway, okay?)

 

  One way to think about the universe is like an incredible set of dominoes. You've seen those demonstrations where someone will build a row of scores and scores of dominoes- hundreds, thousands, all in a row, in intricate patterns- and when the first one is pushed, they all fall, one after another- sometimes one will trigger a pair in front of it, and two new branches will head off in opposite directions, or an intricate circle or zigzag will be arranged so that one set of dominoes will not fall until the other has already passed it- in essence, the fall of every domino is designed to specifically and purposefully cause and contribute to everything that comes after it behaving in a certain way.

 

  Now, this is a rather cold metaphor for the universe- it seems to imply the Blind Watchmaker scenario that some have suggested- that God did create the universe, but just like a watchmaker, He simply wound it up and let it go on it's merry way and didn't affect it or give it a second glance ever again. It's basically a theory for those who cannot deny the signs that point to God creating the universe, but still don't want to believe in a God who they must be accountable to, or one who gives laws they must follow, or one who loves or punishes or in any way competes with the lovely mental picture of the universe they have crafter for themselves that features them at the center of it. They may not admit this, or even consciously think so- but this is the reason, I think. But again, I digress.

"'Butterfly Wings' refers to the famous theorem that the flapping of that creature's wings may affect weather patterns on the other side of the globe... in two words, "Chaos Theory.""

-Spock, in his riddle contest with Q

 

  Another things that has always fascinated me to no end is the Chaos Theory- the Butterfly Effect I described earlier in which you caused Osama Bin Laden to rule the world because of your wristwatch, you big jerk, you. Now, you may have caused a lot of trouble with your interference, but it was unintentional. Unpredictable. Never in a thousand years could you have know how it would all happen, especially because it was based on dozens of factors, like the mood of the man with the nice shoes or the internal thoughts of the husband with the chip on his shoulder, that you never could have known.

 

  Now let's say an agent of Al Queda intended to go back in time to cause just this scenario to happen instead. He knows from years of research that this method, eliminating the bloodline of Louis Pasteur on precisely that day, at that time, in that way, would cause the future to turn out the way he wanted it without any negative side effects- if he just bopped the chip-on-his-shoulder-husband on the head that day, he would report to the constable who would be gruff with his child who would grow up and beat a dog which would attack a man and mangle his hand which would prevent him from playing a piano concerto that would have inspired a listener to paint a painting which would have given encouragement to a freedom fighter during his lowest moment who would have then saved the life of the ancestor of a man who once sheltered the second in command of Al Queda from pursuing forces... so he cannot do that; without the second in command, Osama might not be able to take America successfully, which puts the whole scenario at risk. Nor can this time traveling terrorist simply say something nasty to annoy the man with the nice shoes, because the time it would take him to stop and listen to the terrorists insult would cause him to be a few seconds late to the barber shop where he would have seen the husband, and thus he would never put the chip onto the husbands shoulders to begin with and Pasteur would be born just fine. And the Al Queda Interloper certainly can't simply interrupt the husband and wife before they can conceive a child by knocking on the door and pretending to be a traveling insurance salesman, as the annoyed husband's loud ranting at this annoyance at his doorstep will exacerbate the hangover headache of a next door neighbor who will write an angry note that will be thrown in the trash that will be seen by an angry street urchin and stick in his head and years later cause him to repeat it to his illegitimate son who will foster such resentment that he will write angry poetry in his later years which will inspire a slightly twisted but charismatic man who would otherwise have become a wealthy and corrupt politician later killed in a political revolt to instead found a small cult which would eventually grow into a hateful religion of vengeance which would eventually make an invasion attempt on the middle east, killing the great grandfather of the founder of the Al Queda movement in the process and causing the complete collapse of their plans! (See, I told you I liked playing with the Butterfly Effect!) 

 

  So, this Time Traveling Al Quedan knows that he has to do things at precisely the right moment, the right way, just perfectly- the way you accidentally did in the other scenario- if he wants the future to turn out EXACTLY the way he planned it, with Osama in the Oval Office plotting his conquest of the Mounties. (Who, in all fairness to our friends to the north, could probably give him a darn good run for his money!) In fact, what you did by accident, he has to do EXACTLY- five seconds too soon, and the first man might see the watch, notice it, conclude that it is obviously Dutch, and have his attention free to notice the shoes by the time they arrive. Five seconds too late, and the man might already have his eyes on those nice shoes and never notice the watch. So, even knowing exactly what needs to happen- the husband getting a chip on his shoulder and not buying flowers, the Agent still has to do an insane amount of calculation before he can even hope to begin to have a chance of successfully completing his task without interfering with anything else. He needs to be on exactly the right street and do exactly the right thing at exactly the right time- the odds against his success are millions to one just because so many factors come into play between his block-long walk and the husband arriving home flowerless- and that's assuming he could predict what each man would think and how he would react in the first place!

 

  Now, think back on the last week. Has there perhaps been a time where you have seen a particularly beautiful sunset, for example, and it's inspired you to do something you wouldn't have done otherwise? Or has something 'coincidental' occurred- a valuable conversation that has deeply affected your relationship with someone else having been inspired because you noticed a random movement or object? Or perhaps something, either cause or affect, that you haven't even noticed? The fact of the matter is, the universe is, I believe, a more incredible Butterfly Effect ever planned- on a scale that would boggle not only the mind, but even the imagination. That cloud you saw that reminded you of a bunny that caused you to play that bunny game with your little cousin that he always remembered fondly and brought you closer together? The weather patterns that would cycle in a slow pattern for thousands of years to eventually form the perfect shape to create that bunny were in place when the Garden of Eden was created. The events that brought that guy with the Got Milk T-shirt to cross the street and make you slam on your brakes and drop your eggs so that picking up more the next day you happened to meet your best friend onto the street corner he was on were laid in place before his grandfather was even born- or yours. Now, those are overly-dramatic and extremely noticeable examples. Like the Pasteur-scenario suggests, things as little as a single thought, or a single statement to another person can have effects you would never even know or think about. (Kind of makes you stop and think about the impact your words have on others... and your responsibility to use them wisely!)

 

  Now, here's the thing- according to the Bible, God works all things out for good, and have all events in His hands. Everything that has ever happened and ever will happen is in His hands. This would suggest that, indeed, every event that occurs in your life has a purpose, and was planned- even the tiniest little thing. Which would also mean that, since everything that happens is, in essence, the result of another thing happening- be it a response to stimuli, a reaction to a situation, etc.- the chain of events that caused it to happen was set up long ago- even at the beginning of the world.

 

  Think about the amount of planning it took to get one action to cause a reaction all the way through a chain of people from the Agent with the watch down to the Husband with the chip on his shoulder. Now imagine how much more effort it would take to create a chain all the way from Adam and Eve that would somehow make it's way through the places and ages to reach you and make even one thing happen in your life.

 

  Now imagine the effort it would take to make two things happen in your life. Things at the very beginning of that chain would have to happen with such perfect and delicate balance that two separate events thousands of years later would somehow happen perfectly and precisely the way they're supposed to.

 

  Now, imagine that chain affecting every event in your life.

 

  Now imagine it affecting every event in everyone's life. Ever.

 

  The complexity is staggering. It's like a fractal- a mathematically based shape, a pattern of swirls and curves- and as you zoom in, you see every prong is actually a tiny swirl or shape covered in prongs itself- and as you zoom into them, you see that each of them is actually it's own swirl of shape also covered in tiny prongs- you just keep on zooming, discovering complexity upon complexity, but no end.

 

  Can you imagine the pattern, the precision it would take for all of Earth and all of it's history- even for just all the decisions that affect and motivate only you through one day, that would have to be arranged to be triggered by the fall of the first domino? It's enough to make you crazy- even my chest constricts a little with bubbling anxiety, a sort of mental cabin fever that rattles at me when I feel like my mind is crammed inside too small of a brain to understand what I'm trying to picture.

 

  But for God, that power is elementary.

"Let's play "What do we know?""

-Kate Monday and George Frankly, Mathnet

 

 

 

   Now (lest you wonder if we've just digressed again), what in the world does this have to do with Free Will? Well, you may recall quite a while back when I pointed out a section of our discussion as the off-ramp of our little highway? Well, now it's time to merge back into traffic. What we were left with was:

 

 No, God does not mess with Free Will when it comes to talking about who He has chosen. Likewise, when He affects the course of history, He is not affecting Free Will. But the distinction is an important, and for some, hard to differentiate one. One way to think about the universe is like an incredible set of dominoes...

 

  I included that last sentence as a reminder- that is one way to think of things, all I have just described- a metaphor I, a flawed and fallen human have created- NOT an accurate portrayal of the universe or God's plan. Just an idea. It doesn't factor in God's loving benevolence, or His ability to easily through miracles, or simply excercising His powers of control and creation, to intervene and effect things at any point, not just setting them all up and letting them go. But, even with this stipped-down simplistic scenario, we can learn a few things. Now, stick with me on this. If God can predict, set up, and create that whole line of dominoes, that tells us two things:

 

1. He knows what's going to happen, and what could happen based on countless variables.

 

2. He can cause things to happen.

 

  "But wait!" you say, confused. You say that God could cause, say, history to go a certain way? But history is based on the choices of people, isn't it? If He affects that, isn't He doing it by affecting their Free Will?

 

  Well, first, I'd hardly say you're in a position to be asking me questions after you accidentally killed Louis Pasteur like that. Second, leaving aside the basic flaws of those questions... no. Not really.

 

  Here's my proposal for you to consider: if God chooses to, say, have me give up my computer so I stop confusing all those poor people with my long and convoluted blogs, there are a number of ways He could do so without violating my Free Will. The simplest is, of course, to simply speak to me- through prayers in a still small voice, or even through an Old-Testament style booming command, to simply get rid of my computer. The second is to affect my circumstance- for example, cause my computer to suddenly malfunction and threaten my health with showers of sparks, or by having circumstances in place that computers can be recycled in my area for $5,000, or perhaps opening up the circumstances for my best friend to get her dream job after years of waiting, but only if she can get a computer just like mine immediately, and she doesn't have the money for it, while at the same time my life circumstances cause me to move to a place where I don't have room for my computer. Now, again, these are all over-dramatic, overkill examples to demonstrate the basic principle here... God can affect things, and because of those effects, I will choose to do what He wants me to do- but still of my own Free Will. In the first case, it would be because I value following God's commands. In the second, it would be because I like being unburned. In the third, because I want the money, and in the fourth, because from where I am, my computer is useless to me and useful to another and I want her to prosper- in each case, I did not choose to do what God wanted me to do because He took over my Will- I chose so because it is what I would want to choose in the given circumstances.

 

  Likewise, when God intervenes in 'natural human development' in the form of miracles, I believe the same principle is at work. God may have told Abraham to leave and move to a new land, but He did not override Abraham’s (Abram, at the time) will to do so- Abraham did so because under those circumstances, what he would choose of his own Free Will is to obey God. Likewise, when God issued the Ten Commandments, He did not take away anyone's Free Will to act as they chose- merely set up laws with consequences to them that people could choose to obey- and penalties if they did not. And when He caused the Israelites to win so many battles to take the land He had promised them, He did not take over their wills to cause them to fight, nor those of their enemies to cause the to surrender- He simply affected strength, energy, skill, and surroundings to give the Israelites victory.

 

  Of course, some would call this 'still fixing the results of each situation just as surely as if He'd taken control of their wills.' But in truth, at no point did any man lose his free will or his choice- some simply encountered circumstances that only presented them with one choice that they would consider viable. Even if cases like the book of Exodus where "The Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart," we do not have any evidence that God did this by affecting Pharaoh’s will instead of his circumstances- and every piece of evidence we do have about God's character tells us that He did not, and will not, violate our Free Will.

 

  There we are- one issue of Free Will down, in a cursory manner. But the second issue, the question of how He can speak of those chosen for salvation? That is a slightly trickier one. One that leads us back out from Predestination vs. Free Will and into the larger realm of Destiny, our main focus, which I shall now finally focus on.

 

Posted by Zarm at 11:38:33 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

God-nerd: The Motion Picture - Part I

"Well, I'm back."

 

-Samwise Gamgee

 

 

  That statement has a lot of poignancy to it. For one thing, it's the final line of one of the most beloved fantasy trilogies of all time. It conjures images of the familiar, the triumphant, the return of something beloved or significant, or important enough- like a Gand using a personal pronoun (yes, I am reading the X-wing series right now, how could you tell?)- that it deserves the announcement, that the subject is self-evident, that the return in question is so vital, so celebrated, that everyone within hearing range would WANT to be informed of it's momentous happening.

 

  Well, I don't think the return of another 'regular' installment of the God-Nerd series elicits quite that much of a response. Nor in fact is this particular time in the author's life especially triumphant- rather dismal at many times, actually. But even in struggle and lack, the glory of God is plainly evident, and the one advantage that a wasteland of life, a long, frustrating passage between phases of one's existence can yield is... free time to write. So, for the moment, I am back.

 

  Since it's been a while, I thought I'd tackle a slightly lighter subject this time around, to ease back into things... pre-destination vs. free will.

 

 

  Oh, wait... that's not especially simple. Actually, theologians have been debating that for about as long as there have been theologians. Well, okay, perhaps that is a topic a bit beyond me. The question of our choosing Christ and yet being chosen by Him is one that I couldn't even begin to give an authoritative answer on- I try and make it a policy to avoid any statements of fact that may be contracted directly by Christ when I see Him. (Of course, I probably make a dozen of those a day without realizing- but I try to not CONSCIOUSLY do so.) Still, there is a largely related topic which I want to take a crack at, a kind of pre-destination type question that dips into the area of probabilities and quantum realities and temporal mechanics and Free Will and a great deal more. And it's actually a much simpler question than all that makes it sound like...

 

 

"I'm your density!"

 

-George Mcfly

 

 

  Destiny. It's the stuff dreams are made of. Or at the very least, it's the stuff that Disney films are made of. The idea that there is an inevitable outcome, a fate, a set outcome to the series of events in motion that will irrevocably lead to a set conclusion. As the quote goes, "No matter where you go, there you are." It's from Buckaroo Bonzai, I think. Or maybe it was Buck Rogers. I don't remember- all I know is they used it for a dedication plaque on a Starfleet ship. Give me a break, all right? My sci-fi encyclopedia mind only extends so far! Whoever said it, it kind of falls along the same lines as the concept we're talking about- the concept that what is 'meant to be' will occur, and any actions you take will somehow lead you there. It's a popular concept. The Final Destination horror films are based on it, I understand (though I have not seen them myself.) They feature a series of groups who, in each film, cheat death, by somehow discovering that they are about to die in an accident or somesuch, and avoiding it. However, it is their 'destiny' to die- it was meant to be, and must be by some twisted laws of the universe... so events converge, unlikely, even impossible things happen to ensure that they do indeed die, one by one- because in the end, their destiny is to die at a certain time, and that WILL happen, one way... or another. It's destiny.

 

  Likewise, there are many different time travel movies. I believe I have already posited on this blog why I believe time travel is impossible due to a number of factors these authors seldom consider. If I haven't... I should.In any event, writers deal differently with the idea of changing time. Some, like Back To The Future, show time as fluid, in the end concluding "The future isn't written yet- it's whatever you make it!" Man, I want that time train! I've always wanted a model of that thing, ever since I was a kid! Hey, if any of you out there have a way to get ahold of one of those things, I'll pay top... ummm, sorry, I digress. It was just a really cool train. Others, like the recent adaptation of The Time Machine (A terrible movie, but then... it's a thoroughly depressing piece of evolutionary propaganda and pessimism any way you look at it when studied with a clinical eye... at least that montage of traveling through the ages WAS awesome...) with Jeremy Irons and Orlando Jones and... the other guy (You know, the one who stars in the film? I can't be expected to know all of these details!)... take a different view. The main character builds a time machine to go back in time and prevent his fiancé from being shot by a mugger. He does so, only to start to take her home and see her run over by an out of control cab. It's implied (to me, though not to some) that he makes a number of other attempts- every time, she dies in a different random manner. Finally, the protagonist heads forward in time to find a time when people understand time (That sentence sounds suspiciously similar to a drunken Deanna Troi) so that he can get some answers about why he can't seem to change it. Finally, in the future, a highly-evolved Morlock leader explains it to him- he built his time machine to prevent the death of his loved one- if he prevents that from happening, then his former self, living happily with an un-killed wife, will have no impetus to build a time machine, and thus could never have traveled back to save her in the first place, which means that she would be killed and he would build a time machine too rescuer, but once he did, would have no reason to have built a time machine, and... this is called a Temporal Paradox. Which basically means an irresolvable problem in which doing one thing would cause the events that led to that thing never to have happened, creating an infinite loop of logic. It's the same as the old problem posed in theoretics- what if you went back in time and killed your grandfather? Then, you would never have been born, so you couldn't have traveled back to kill him, which means he would still be alive, and have you, the Extremely Ungrateful Homicidal Grandchild(tm), who would travel back and kill him, but then of course you would never have existed, so you couldn't travel back, which means he would be alive to have an EUHG(tm), who would travel back in time to kill him, but... it just isn't possible! "And that, dear children, is called a Paradox, which is frowned upon in modern society..." It's one excellent reason not to mess with time travel. (That, along with, say, the butterfly effect, the idea that even seeing you walking down the street where there was no one before in 1632 might cause someone to think a different thought than if they'd been walking down the sidewalk alone- for example, to notice your wristwatch and wonder what this strange piece of jewelry is, whereas if you hadn't been there, he'd just have been counting cobblestones in the road, and now that he is wondering about your watch instead of looking at the ground, it will cause him not to notice the nice shoes of a passerby a few minutes later that he otherwise would have commented on, which would cause the passerby with the nice shoes not to be thinking what a nice day it was to live in such a friendly town, which would cause them to say a different thing to someone else five minutes later than he would have if he'd been thinking on community pride, which would cause that someone to get angry at the nice-shoed man's self-centeredness, which would give him a chip on his shoulder which he wouldn't have had if the nice-shoed man had been thinking on community pride and said something nicer to his neighbor, which would cause the shoulder-chipper to not buy flowers for his wife as he had originally been considering, which would lead to he and his wife not getting in the amorous mood his botanical gift of spontaneity would have engendered, which would cause them not to engage in marital activities which would produce a child that night, which would mean that child would never exist nor have children, and thus there is no bloodline that eventually would have produced Louis Pasteur, and milk would never have gotten sterilized, and Einstein would have died as a child from an illness from spoiled milk, and with the plague and the lack of an atomic bomb, defeating the Japanese in World War II, would have been so costly in lives on both sides that the West would never adequately recover, and 9/11 becomes the date of a massive Taliban invasion of the U.S. who is not a leading world power because of their weakened state, and before you know it, POOF! You've just caused the downfall of civilization as we know it and Osama Bin Laden is in the conquered Oval Office planning the invasion of Canada all because some guy in 1632 happened to notice your wristwatch and was distracted and neglected to compliment someone's shoes! You jerk!)

 

  Ah, time travel is fun... I could talk about paradoxes all day. But now I have VERY seriously digressed- that entire conversation is so completely irrelevant to our main point! Which is the concept of paradoxes. There are many different theories about them, how they would work- some films suggest that, since it is an infinite loop that cannot be resolved, it would cause the universe to simply end. After all, if you tell a robot "Everything I say is a lie... now listen to me very carefully... I am lying." It will have smoke pour out of it's ears and shut down, because you have given it a problem you know it cannot solve, because it is impossible to solve- it presents two completely contradictory reports that cannot be reconciled. (How do we know the robot will do this? Why, from Star Trek of course! Poor Norman ...) Well, likewise, if two completely contradictory things happen, the universe might well cease to exist, like our robot, since there is no way to resolve the conflict. However, other films, like the Time Machine (you remember, the one I was telling you about before I got distracted by the Butterfly Effect?) suggest a different idea- they view Time almost like a living, thinking entity- it repairs itself, protects itself, knits itself back together. In essence, Time itself was somehow causing the death of our hero's loved one to happen no matter what so that he would always have had motivation to build the time machine and not create a temporal paradox. Her death became destiny, an inescapable fate which would always happen no matter what the events leading up to it, so that the timeline would remain undisturbed. (After being granted this understanding by the Morlock leader, our hero shows his thanks by punching him in the face, wrestling with him, and causing his body to decay, shred and shrivel, and die, all in a matter of seconds. Some gratitude... and some hero! Stupid movie...)

 

  Of course, leaving aside the mechanics of how 'destiny' could work- magic, perhaps?- simply causing random objects and people and events to happen for no good reason to get what it wants- last I checked, an anvil couldn't simply materialize in the sky to fall on your head and kill you because you were supposed to die; someone would instead have to put it there- that is the idea of destiny. A horror movie and a sci-fi movie, both leading the characters to a place that is inescapable, and when they somehow 'cheat' by escaping, it causes the inescapable to happen by other means- the cause is not important, simply the fact that what was 'supposed' to happen always does happen in the end, and always will. Death is used in those two circumstances because it is seen as the most inescapable and obvious of 'destinies,' but the concept turns up in many forms- someone is destined to be in a certain place at a certain time, or make a certain decision, or do a certain thing- they simply have no choice, it is foretold. This then, is the idea we're working with.

 

 

"You have a touch of destiny about you..."

 

-Tia Dalma

 

 

  In the Star Wars novel series The Swarm War (great buildup, lousy finale) one of the characters demonstrates a new ability in the Force- they are able to touch an object and travel to the past or future of the object, actually appearing in the past to observe where a crashed ship has been, or darting into the future when someone else comes looking for the crashed ship and leaving a message for them, all while standing and touching the crashed ship in question. He does so, leaves, and a few days later, his parents (Han Solo and Princess Leia from the films) come looking for him. When they arrive at the crashes ship, he appears before them to communicate his message which he had done by traveling through time several days before.

 

  I for one found this concept to be an awesome new force power- Luke Skywalker found it profoundly disturbing. As master Yoda had taught him, "Always in motion is the future." Like the model of Back To The Future, it suggests that whatever you do in the present causes the future to become a certain way- what you do now affects what happens then. The future is a blank canvas to be painted on by whatever actions are taken today. From Luke's perspective, however, when this wayward Jedi traveled into the future and left a message for his parents, he 'fixed their destinies' to that place and time. No matter what they chose or where they went or how they acted, they were now destined to be on that planet at that time. Since he traveled there and saw them and talked to them, and thus it was bound to happen, a part of that blank canvas of the future came with a pre-stamped watermark... no longer would whatever Han and Leia chose direct everything in their future- because whatever they did, they would SOMEHOW end up on that planet at that time to receive that message. They were bound to it as a fate they could not change. Their future became fixed, inescapable, for a brief point in time.

 

  This is an interesting question for us to ask, because we have had roughly the same experience. It's called the book of Revelation... or is it Revelations? I'm pretty sure it's Revelation, without the S. Hang on, I'd better go check... yep, Revelation, singular. In Revelation, we are given a view of the future- of what will happen! Ever think about how weird that is? I mean, our Bible actually tells the future? That's really pretty wild! Yes, it's possible to get too carried away with enthusiasm over the idea (See "The Omega Code"), but it's still really rather amazing! But wait... if the Bible says what is actually GOING to happen, no matter what, does that mean that our destinies, like Han and Leia's have been fixed? That nothing we do matters? That we're not in control of our own actions or futures?

 

  For that matter, have there been any of you that haven't wondered "Well, if the Bible says Satan is going to do this and that, and lose here and there, and the Anti-Christ is going to die then, and Gog and Magog are going to rise up and be crushed there, and Satan will end up here... why doesn't Satan just read the book, get God's game plan, and not do that? Why not do something else?" I mean, for heaven's sake, we have the Left Behind series... doesn't that mean that absolutely no one ought to be clueless about the Rapture when it happens and not a single person on Earth should fall for the anti-Christ because everyone ought to be able to say "Hey, I read about this in that best-selling series of books... people were idiots for falling for this stuff in those books, but since I've read about it, I'm not going to fall for it!"? Does that mean that everyone, from those who will worship the Beast to Satan himself has had their destinies 'fixed' in place so that they can't use this information to do anything differently than it says they will?

 

  (If you want my take on it, Satan's already read the book, and he knows he's going to lose- but since his mission is as it always was, mess things up for God's creations, who have God's favor instead of Satan himself- not to mention that, being weaker than God, striking at us is the only way that Satan can strike at Him- he's just determined to do as much damage as he can and take as many of us with him as he can- and of course, he keeps on, not admitting the truth, because propaganda is half the battle, and the longer he can demoralize those who oppose him by making them think he can still win, the more he can take with him- which is why he will keep fighting the same way, even just the way that Revelations says, even though he knows what will happen to him- because that way also happens to be the way he can do the most collateral damage, which, knowing he's defeated, is all he has left. But then... I'm hardly an expert on Satan, so take that with a grain of salt!)

 

 

 

"And one more thing- you can't mess with anybody's Free Will"

 

"May I ask why?"

 

"Yes you can! That's the beauty of it!"

 

-God and Bruce

 

 

  We've covered A LOT of ground here, and that was all just the set-up, so let's stop and take a breather here, shall we? Don't take off on me, now... I've fallen for that "I'm just going to the bathroom" when you're really escaping out the back room and heading for the hills trick before, too many times. (I always hate that in movies- they never actually DO go to the bathroom, so for the next five scenes as they're escaping, and heading out wherever, I just get stuck thinking "But don't they still have to go?" Okay, weird digression... bet you didn't really care to know that.) But, if you need to head out, clear your mind, digest everything for a while, go ahead. All I ask is that when you're ready, you come back and read the rest- you've slogged through all the setup, and now things are about to get interesting!

 

Posted by Zarm at 11:32:28 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Thursday | August 16, 2007

A Montage Of Life

Well, here I am making a liar out of myself. In my recently created journal-blog (http://andrewgilbertson.blogspot.com) I pointed out both my Myspace blog (http://www.myspace.com/andrewgilbertson) and my God Nerd blog (http://nolinecinemas.blog.com) as examples of 'defunct' or abandoned projects I have on the web, along with my website (http://www.nolinecinemas.com) (How's that for a number of shameless plus per capita ratio?), and now the mention of it has inspired me to go and make a few updates, thus disproving my own point! How ridiculous! As I wait and conduct my job search, it seems once again that my free and empty time translates into general productivity for my viewers and readers- again, my loss is their gain. Well, no offense to my devoted fanbase (both of you, I'm sure)- but I'd much rather have a job and busy social schedule than inordinate amounts of reading time- which is all to say, really... I can't promise how long this 'revival' will last. Anyhow... enough disclaiming.The purpose of the aforementioned new blog is to chronicle my tale for those back home as I embark on my new move to the East Coast; a somewhat trying time, but in keeping with the original intent of this blog, I shall leave the details largely out of here. Suffice it to say that I have found myself in unaccustomed loneliness, a generally frustrating time of job seeking and lack of social contact, circumstances which are simply not as I had hoped, and in the extension of a trying number of months I had hoped would end when I moved that seem to be pushing my ability to trust and hope to their limits. It has been... trying.Earlier in the day, I encountered a breath of fresh air. The 4 hours of Star Trek I had come to rely on to fill the empty afternoons after my job search completed was not on, this being a Friday, and I found myself rather stimulation-starved. Thus, while channel-surfing (I can already tell a bad habit is forming- hopefully my next blog entry will not be entitled 'overcoming the snare of TV addiction.'), I happened to stumble upon the broadcast of the Jim Carrey comedy Bruce Almighty. I love that movie. Sure, it's hardly perfect. I certainly could have done without the monkey scene, and especially the prelude-to-sex scene. And there are a number of rough edges. But the movie manages to get so much RIGHT, too!Of course, there is no human actor that is even remotely capable of scratching the surface of a portrayal of God; nonetheless, I can't help feeling that Morgan Freeman's performance comes at least closer than any other actor I've seen- portraying a three-dimensional character (ironic, as I am sure that God exists in more than three dimensions, if 'dimensions' as we know them have any bearing on Him whatsoever... but that is a discussion for another time.), not a cardboard cutout- a God with a sense of humor, compassion, love- a gentle teacher, as well as a powerful authoritarian- a God who relates to His creations, not just throws down orders in a booming voice. Not since the Prince of Egypt have I actually felt that a performer 'got' that aspect of God- you know, the obvious one, the one that Christians try to spread daily, sometimes it seems without success- that God is love. And that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That the mighty God the Father who set forth the Ten Commandments in power and might is the same Jesus Christ who invited the little children to come and be blessed. That the same wrathful Almighty that decimated Sodom and Gomorrah in a fiery deluge is the same compassionate Son who wept over the death of a close friend. That the God who wiped out all the wicked men on the Earth with a global flood is the same God who saved all the wicked men on the Earth with a sacrifice of His own life on the cross. God is more than a cliché or caricature; a kindly old grandfather, a stern Zeus of rules and smighting, a surfer-dude of peace and love that can't seem to get it together enough to enforce a single rule- God is none of these, and while no man is ever going to come close to portraying what God IS... it's nice to see someone getting at least a little closer. (I have yet to view Evan Almighty and see if this trend is continued.)And then, we come to my favorite part. At the film's climax, a distraught Bruce (Jim Carrey), having lost his love, Grace, to his own selfishness, having been given the powers of God, but squandering them in his focus on himself, staggers out into the rainy night, crying to Heaven "I'm done! I'm through! I don't want to be God! I want YOU to decide what is right for me!" it is a potent and touching picture of truly surrendering your life to God, stated simply, without theological terms or high-strung King James-ian language- just a simple plea that we should all be able to pray- that we are through trying to be our own 'God' within our lives, that we truly want what God wants for us.Moments later, Bruce has a final face to face meeting with God. Asked to pray sincerely, not about world peace and feeding the hungry, as he first starts to do ("Not bad... if you're trying to be Miss America " notes God), but about what he truly cares about, Bruce admits what he truly cares about is Grace. "You want her back?" God asks. Bruce seems almost shocked at his own answer: "No." After a moment, he continues. "I want her... to be happy. To find someone who will give her all the love that she should have gotten from me. Someone who will forever see her as I see her now- through your eyes." In the film, God responds "Now THAT's a prayer!" I concur. It's been a true inspiration to me, a picture of what love really is, really should be- 'I care about her so much, I pray that You would send her someone who will give her the love and kindness and respect she deserves- even if that man is not me. I pray, oh how I desperately pray, that you would make me that man, Lord- but if I am not, then I would rather she find that man, and I step aside, than have her within anything but Your best; even if that means losing her completely.' It is a tough thing to say, an even tougher thing to genuinely mean. I think of the one I truly care about, think of how often my own selfishness has almost ruined things, how much I so want God's best for her- and realize that IS what I want for her- even if it is not me. And so, at both of these moments, with tears in my eyes, I turn my thoughts to God and pray "Lord, I have gotten so off-track! This is really what I want! To have YOUR will in my life be done! Even if it goes against what I want! To have YOUR will in my relationship be done! Even if it means losing who I cherish most!" And I pray, deep in my heart, that this commitment, this fire within me, will be a lasting one, that this will become the true focus of my life; this is where my heart truly belongs, and I want it to stay there forever! And then, there's that sound of the record screech, and the music stops, just like in the movie trailers. And I think "Wait a minute... haven't I been here before?"It's a good question. The thing is, I know I HAVE. The last time I watched this movie, if nothing else. And at the last church campout. And the one before that. And probably a hundred more times, too. I've been broken. I've been humbled. I've been pumped. I've been devoted. I've been tearfully committed to change my life for good and serve as I have not served, to take my focus off of myself, to do what is right in all things.And just like every time, I wonder- "What in the world happened?"It's what's called a mountain-top experience. That exultant moment of connection, that feeling of closeness to God, that resolve to do what is right... it never seems to last. That's hardly new. Just look in the Bible. How many miracles did God do for the ancient Israelites after they were delivered from Egypt ? And how long did it take them to fall back into grumbling and complaining? They watched God drive the entire Egyptian army into the Sea that He had just parted on either side of them for them to walk across on dry land, and the entire nation is gathered on the shore singing praises to His name- and a few weeks later, Moses leaves for a few days and they're cooking up a golden calf to worship? How can you FORGET something like that? How can you come down from that high to such a low? It seems to be a part of our sinful nature- it does matter how close we get to God; if we are not careful and faithful, we can drift away completely as if it had never happened at all.I've found a great difficulty in this myself, lately. I want to trust God to do His will in my life, to serve Him... but what about right now, when I'm just job searching and then looking for something to do the rest of the day? Oh, sure, if I was called to go to Iraq and preach the gospel, or torn between two difficult jobs, or uncertain whether I was being led to sell all of my possessions and give the money to the poor, then I could say "God's will be done, lead me through this choice and I will follow!" But how about now, when I am doing very little? When my biggest decision is 'watch Star Trek or Stargate this evening while I'm waiting for dinner?'Likewise, I want to be committed to purity in my relationship with the one I care about- to loving her, respecting her, being the best friend I possibly can be- and it would be easy to see where my actions should lie when it came to temptation to push physical boundaries, or deciding whether to propose, or dealing with some great crisis that might split us up... but how do I apply those things now, just trying to be patient and getting to know her in person. I mean, nothing's happening, right? There are no major issues, no major decisions, no major... anything! I've started to thing of it as 'living in a montage world.' Have you ever stopped to look at a montage in a movie? As a filmmaker, I certainly have. They really are the height of deception, in a way- taking the slow, mundane passing of time, the least exciting aspect of life, and trying to make it look even livelier and snappier than the regular moments! I mean, think about the montage of a champion training for the big fight. We see him do a snap-kick, then a roll-dive, then a hammer fist combination, then a punching bag routine, then job with an ox tied around his neck, then try to snatch a cricket with a pair of chopsticks, then pound the punching back a little more, then do a snap kick with the ox tied around his neck this time, then he's getting strong, so we see him running with ease carrying an oxen in each hand, then snatching two crickets at a time with a single chopstick while his wizened old Chinese master sits on his shoulders (every great fighter must have a wizened old oriental man to train him or he will fail), then punching the bag some more and knocking it off it's chain, and then running with the crickets and the oxen and the wizened old master seated atop an elephant all chained to his bulging muscled biceps past a waterfront at sunset and he lifts his hands up high in a victory pose and this is how we know he is finally ready- cut back to normal time, the day of the big match! And how much time has passed? Thirty seconds or so?But wait just a minute! The last scene was five minutes long and covered five minutes of time... this montage was thirty seconds long and covered the next three weeks of time? Obviously, something got left out! In fact, almost every shot we saw was new and unique- we only saw a repetition when something changed with it, like an added oxen... we didn't really see him do that snap kick twice. Or fifty times. Or hundreds, day after day. We didn't see him get up and eat a hearty breakfast and drive down to the gym to meet his master. We didn't see him straining to even MOVE the ox the first time, or watch day after day as he made it a few feet farther with the pack animal strapped to his back- we just jumped right in. Before you know it, it was over! Just like a sports recap show, we got only the highlights, missing the many, many more mundane moments in between that made each highlight possible! Why, the montage made these impossible feats seem downright easy, and the whole practice took... well, thirty seconds! Montages can cover a lot of time. You can show a house being built in one minute flat. But go and try and build that house yourself? Somehow I suspect you'll find a lot more tedium and hard work than the montage ever suggested. It showed a frame up, then with a quick fade, the frame was covered in drywall. But guess what, champ? Every single piece of drywall had to be laid. Or... framed. Or... hammered. Or however you put up drywall. (Mr. Fixit, I'm not!) The point being, like so much in our culture, montages are based on instant gratification- all the results without all the work.Of course, for movies, this is only practical- you can't make a three week long movie and show every moment of the champ's training, 24/7- the audiences would never come! But for life, it can present an unrealistic standard. It's easy to look at 'events-' major happenings in our life. I myself am greatly looking forward to weekends, which I can now spend with my Best Friend- something I am quite thrilled about. Weekends are going to be a wonderful time, a shared experience, a real blast! But the reality is... I have to live through every one of the five days in between them, and each of the days lasts just as long as the two that comprise the weekends. In a movie, the montage would move from highlight to highlight of those weekends, probably even skipping a number of them and only hitting specific highlights on specific weekends. That's what we like to focus on, after all- the good, the fun, the major, the significant- the breaks from the ordinary. But in real life, the ordinary is still there. Likewise, life isn't just a series of 'events.' A flashback sequence may show a baby being born, a child riding their first bike, a prom, a college graduation, getting married, having a child, buying a house... but in between those events, many days, weeks, months, and even years of 'the ordinary' are going to happen. We don't show them, because there's nothing exciting about them- but they're there.This fits together well with 'mountain top experiences.' They're the 'events.' We don't like to focus on the times in-between... but they're there nonetheless. That motivational speech the coach gives to his team before the big game? Well, come next week's game, he's going to have to give another one, because that 'pumped' inspiration is going to have worn off, slowly eroded away by the daily grind. In fact, chances are, even if he gives the best "Now let's get out there and WIN!!!" speech of his life, if he does so before shuffling the team onto the bus for a three hour ride to the actual field where the game is taking place, that motivation is going to be pretty sorely lacking by the game's opening buzzer. What can I say? Fickle creatures are we. Motivations wear off. Good intentions slip off. (Hence the phrase "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions-" you may start off with high ideals and great intents- but will they last through to when the tough choices come?) We come down from the mountaintop. And since we are geared to a 'montage' mindset, based on events, we think very much about the mountaintop, and the exciting idea of sharing and doing our good works to the world waiting at the foot of the mountain- but we seldom stop and think about maintaining that excitement during the somewhat dull, long, and arduous climb that will take us TO the foot of the mountain where we can go out into the world to do these good deeds. And chances are, after three stubbed toes, accidentally making a wrong turn or two, sore, stiff spiritual 'muscles' and other rigors of the climb, the mundane, no matter how small or trifling compared to that intense joy and connection and commitment to change, will often manage to distract us completely from the mountaintop experience by the time we've finished climbing down- we reach the foot of the mountain, the place where we can actually DO something about our experience, no better off than when we started up the mountain, because the journey has numbed us to what happened at the peak. It's strange, really- the little trifles and troubles and boredoms, were they experienced on the mountaintop, would seem so insignificant that we would barely even notice they existed compared to the bountiful joy of what we were experiencing. But once we are out of direct contact with the mountaintop, those little, pathetic nothings can somehow grow to take on new importance. Since we of the Montage Mindset are so set on events and the 'major,' we fall into a trap. Like a climber glorying in the sun at the peak of a mountain, then having to climb down through a long, dark cave, once the sun is behind us, the dim, flickering candles that light the way through the cave suddenly seem to grow to titanic importance. They don't have nearly the same brightness, or warmth, or radiance of the sun- but as they are the biggest 'events' we are exposed to in the dark stretch, they seem just as important, if not moreso, than the sun that is now out of sight, out of mind.In other words, we forget to seek out God's will in the mundane. We forget to praise Him during the boring. We forget to remain vigilant and on guard during the peaceful lull- and if you've ever seen an action movie, it's when the guards get like that, sleepy and lazy after feasting on roast boar, or in a more contemporary setting, sitting and playing cards while ignoring the security camera monitors... that is the time when the intruders strike, and win. The lazy times. The slow times. The enemy creeps in, catches you off guard- and you lose without ever realizing you were under attack. That's the trick. You see, our little cave metaphor, while hardly perfect (few of my metaphors are) yields us one other interesting fact. While the candles are completely different, and far less powerful than the sun seen at the peak of the hill- they are still lights. Small, weak, seemingly insignificant- but if they were gone from that long, dark cave- you would realize just how much impact they had! Likewise, while the mountaintop experience, or the major 'events' of our life may seem like the only things that matter... it turns out that even those simple choices during the mundane, the moments spent in long, boring waiting with nothing to do, those endless repetitions trying to run a few feet farther with that ox around your neck even though all you're really looking for is that big fight coming up- they count, too. In fact, they affect what shape you're going to be in when the next big 'event' comes. They are dull. They are ordinary. But they aren't without meaning.Now, this blog is being written kind of on the fly. It may seem like it's going in five different directions at once, or not tying it's separate points together well- maybe it just has too many metaphors. The truth of the matter is, it's as much a process of trying to uncover the answers for me as it is an attempt to provide any answers. Coming into this, the only help I could offer is, as they say "Admitting the problem is the first step towards curing it." Maybe, by the end of this, that will STILL be all I have to offer. God knows full well that I have a problem with this, and unless He gives me a sudden thunderbolt inspiration, I will likely STILL have a problem with this! But, just to catch up, tossing aside the mountain and the cave and the Rocky wanna-be with a bovine chained to his torso, the matter boils down to this: It is crucial to maintain our focus in the in-between times. Because that's where we lose our edge. That's where the mountaintop wears off. That's where we get off-track. During that bus ride between the coaches speech and the actual game time. (Whoops- back into the metaphors!) During that day of sitting around watching TV in between deciding to go out and spend more time in prayer during the weekdays and the time that Monday morning actually rolls around. During that lull between events when it seems that nothing important is happening- we can still, and NEED to, remember to serve God, to seek His will, His direction, to serve Him, even in those times where it seems like nothing we are doing is truly significant. Because life isn't a montage. All those little times add up. In fact, they probably make up most of your life. They outnumber the 'events' a thousand to one. And if you're not really focusing on God during those times... how do you expect to still have your enthusiasm up and ready to go when the next 'event' rolls around, weeks or months later?I'm going to leave this question open, actually. I don't like doing so. I like to give answers. But the truth is, I spend enough time thinking on those questions that have baffled scholars or plagued mankind through the ages that if I waited to actually have an answer before I posted a blog, then you'd probably be looking at a blank page. Instead, I will leave this as a challenge to you, the readers. Something to think about: how can I focus on God more during the doldrums, the times where it seems like nothing important is happening in my life? How can I keep from losing my edge? Comments and suggestions are welcome- meanwhile, I'm going to do some praying and studying- and maybe write a follow-up with a few suggestions of my own in a week or so. Until then (and long after that, for that matter,) may God be with you- and you in Him!
Posted by Zarm at 10:36:41 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday | August 10, 2007

'Tis Better To Give... But How?

Well, a far lighter topic today, I think, than the average weighty matter. Actually, it's more of a theoretical/practical life question, if you will: How do you give a gift that's too big?

I was pondering an event from a few years ago the other day... my sister had recently bought an N64 with a couple of games. We both loved playing it. But one thing she really had her eye on was The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, rightly hailed as the peak of th N64. But of course, they weren't making N64 games any more... and used coppies weren't cheap.

She had come down with a bug that week, and was laid up in bed. I felt so sorry for the poor girl, and I decided to take some of my money and try and cheer her up. So, I hit the used games store in Lakewood, which was our best source for N64 games. I got her a few I thought she might moderately like- Starfox 64, Star Wars Episode 1 Racer- plus one that I thought she would greatly enjoy- Mario 64, I think it was. I saw the Legend of Zelda there, too... but it was forty dollars, and I was already spending twenty or more... so I left it there.

I returned home and gave her the Starfox and Podracer games, which she thanked me for...

Only then, I started feeling bad. I was trying to cheer her up, wasn't I? And for that, money should be no object, shouldn't it? And yet I had passed up that Zelda game she wanted... So, I got back in the car and ran down to the store and before I could stop myself, splurged for the money on the Legend of Zelda. "Oh well," I thought, "if 60-70 bucks can make her happier while she's sick, it's worth it."

It was getting near night time when I returned, and I went in and presented her with the Mario 64. Her reaction was a little more subdued than I'd hoped, but she still seemed glad to have it. Well, fair enough. It was one of her favorite games, but she was sick, after all... so, I turned around to go. And then, as I was leaving, I turned around with a smile and said "Oh yes... one more thing!" and pulled the Legend of Zelda out of my pocket. Here it was, as the cost of forty dollars- a big deal to an unemployed guy with dwindling cash reserves- was the game that she had been waiting for, hoping for, searching for, being delivered by wonderful older brother to brighten her day and make her forget all of her woes...

"Another one?" She asked, in a slightly annoyed and exasperated voice, as she took the cartige.

OOF!

Well, that took the wind out of my sails! I had fallen prey to the classic snare of the TBG (Too Big Gift). It's the kind of wonderful, dream-come-true completely-perfect-for-someone kinda expenditure... that's so overwhelming it can't actually be appreciated. I've run up against it a few times in my life- and I've never figured out the propper way to handle it.

This is the dilema: Let's say you give someone who likes classic cars a '57 Chevy. They're shocked, agog, grateful, awed- "I can't believe you would do this!" they shout. All well and good- now, ideally you're not in it for the praise that they are lavishing your way... after all, what kind of pal are you if you only do good things to get praise in return- but at least you can tell for certain that this is something they enjoy!

Now, let's say you have more than one classic car, and you, being some kinda billionaire- want to give the whole collection to them. And so, you say "Come with me..." and lead them to a garage full of a dozen classic cars- each one hand-picked for them. You know that of their dream list, at least 10 of these 12 are on it, and there is nothing more exciting to you than to see the look of joy on their face when you tell them that the whole garage and everything in it is theirs!

"Uh... wow. Gee, thanks..." they say, politely, still staring.

Not quite so boundlessly happy as you would hope? The problem is, the gift is so big that it COMPLETELY overwhelms them so that they can't even feel the excitement of having what they always wanted- it's simply too big to wrap their minds around. And even though it's ten times better than just the one car you were going to present, they may never be as thankful as they would have or as happy about the gift than they would have with that one classic car.

Of course, your other choice is to ration the gift, spreading it out over a distance to preserve the awe. "Wowie zowie! You gave me a car!" They say. Then "Wow... you just gave me a car last month- now you're giving me another one? I'm shocked!" Soon "Wow... another car... cool!" And by the 5th or 6th, they echo my sister's disbelieving, somewhat annoyed "ANOTHER one?" The repetition, the stretch over time... the thrill has worn off and the extraordinary has become mundane. And the irritation that human beings generally feel over the unknown and the uncontrolable asserts itself even over the recieving of gifts- "How much longer is this going to go? When does it end? How much do I get before then?" In short... the gift is taken for granted even though, at the beginning, a single piece of it, just an inkling, would have been more thrilling than they ever could have imagined.

So, how do you deal with a TBG? Me, I've never figured it out... and it's kinda put a downer on some wonderful suprises; either they've been too big and the other person didn't 'get' what they were getting, or it's been too drawn out, and just drawn their ire. Any ideas, o faithful readers? Someday, I'd like to lick this one!

But you know, something else occurred to me while I was pondering this. I started out really wondering, and hoping someone reading this might have the answer, how a giver can deal with TBG Syndrome and overcome it. Any helpful hints'd be great. But there's a bigger question that applies here: How do the recievers overcome TBG Syndrome and appreciate what they truly have? It's a question that's far more important in our daily lives because every single one of us has been given the UTBG (Ultimate Too Big Gift)!

Let's get a few things straight. Jesus Christ is God. You may believe that, you may not- doesn't change the fact that it's true.   But for the sake of explanation, go with me on this one, okay? Jesus Christ is God, and God is Omnipotent. He is also Omnsicient, Omnipresent... which basically means He has All Power, is All-Seeing, All-Knowing, Everywhere at once- because no Everywhere has been made that is bigger than He is; He fills the whole thing and then some! He is infinite, He can go anywhere, do anything, He can be and see and hear and sense and plenty of verbs that we haven't even thought of, with a mere thought. He can make all of the universe with a word. He can create life with a breath.  And He chose to set aside ALL of that power, that glory, that LITERAL Infinity... and take up residence in a human body.

Think about it for a minute. WHOA. That is an INCREDIBLE thing! To take Invincibility and trade it for being able to stub your toe? To take seeing everything everywhere that ever happened or will and trade it for, at best, 20/20 vision that's stuck in the 'now?' To take the ability to go anywhere and be everywhere and trade it in for having to walk, to getting tired out after a few miniscule miles when you were the one that CREATED THE WHOLE PLANET???? Talk about a losing proposition! And it's not like He was forced to do this from some 'Divine Rulebook'... He CHOSE to do it!

Now, shifting aside from that- incredible and mind-boggling revelation as it is, let's take a look at a second issue- Humanity, in general and individually, is as completely flawed as God is completely perfect. Sure, not everybody is a Hitler or a Bin Laden- but everybody does wrong things, every day. Actions, thoughts, words... even when you're doing nothing, sometimes you failing to do the right thing. And not one of us is perfect. Every single one of us is imperfect, has done something wrong. Yes, even Mother Teresa! Yes, even Ghandi! Yes, even Princess Diana! Mr. Rogers is a sinner! St. Peter isn't perfect! Even the 'Holy Virgin Mother' Mary was sinful and flawed and, by the standards of perfect, evil. As the Bible says, "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God."

Now, the penalty for sin is death. If you want to get into that, see some of the previous blogs I've written on the subject. For the moment, once again, go with me, here, and we'll continue. That means that everybody deserves death. Not just Hitler and Bin Laden... the little kid playing on the street right outside your window. That Best Friend that you so enjoy spending time with. The love of your life, your better half, your very heart and soul. Your sweet, kindly old grandmother who is the nicest person in the world. EVERYONE deserves to die.

Stop and think about that for a moment, again. WHOA. Now THAT is a downer!!!

Okay, if you'll take a moment to stop tying the noose, put away the pistol, and step away from the edge of the bridge, I'll try to un-depress you a little. See, here's a third litte factor to take a look at: There's one person that didn't sin. Can you guess who? Yep, that's right, back to little consideration #1... Jesus Christ. The only person in a human body who never comitted a single sin. Never did a single thing wrong. Never hurt anybody, never lied, never took a thing that didn't belong to him, never thought lustfully about a woman, never desired something that belonged to someone else, never cheated, never spoke wrongly, never dishonored his parents... He never did ANYTHING wrong. Not a single thing. In His whole life.

So, here's unfair for you: Every single one of us has done soemthing wrong. Every single one of us is a dirty rotten sinner- and really, when you look at things- we don't have life too bad. Meanwhile, Jesus does absolutely nothing wrong, ever. And what does He get?

He gets killed.

Whoa, hold on, back up the truck... do you realize what those words mean? GOD died. The perfect, infinite, omni-everything being who made everything and could form the Earth with a thought... DIED. He went from litterally EVERYTHING- being everywhere, seeing everything, knowing everything, being the source of life itself- to DEATH. To not a spark of life left in Him! Let me say that again, in case it didn't register: GOD DIED.

What the heck??? How is that even POSSIBLE??? I mean, God the Father has always been there and will always be there, so it's not like the universe was left unsupervised... but Jesus Christ is also God, and He died. God is not supposed to die... it kind of goes against... reality! I mean, shouldn't there be some sort of rule against that? It doesn't seem like it shoul